What would you do if you had 30 minutes with absolutely NO accountability whatsoever (moral, ethical, legal, etc.)?
We live on 3rd Street. Third Street is parallel to 4th St. Fourth Street is a main street with a speed limit of 35 mph. On our street, we have a playground and Community Center and a speed limit of 20 mph. What I don't get about this situation is why every vehicle (including the police vehicles that frequent our neighborhood) have to barrel down our street at 40 mph. The semis prefer our street (I assume because we lack stop lights) and don't even pretend to slow down.
Last year, our neighbor witness some jerk in his over-sized phallus speeding down our street and get out to yell at some child going to the playground for not getting out of his way fast enough.
So, here is what I would do: I would set up spikes on our street that flatten tires of anyone going over the speed limit.
I wish that I could say that would satisfy me but I must admit that I would feel the need to explain to this person after they swerved of the road why this happened to them. Summing up with something along the lines of: "You are a selfish, ignorant ****." Then I would taser them.
Then, If they looked like this guy:
I would give them a good, swift kick in the gut while they were down and tell them their hair made them look like the trash they are. And, around here that would be most of the people who drive, including the teens and women.There was probably a day when, if given 30 guilt free minutes, I would have done something exciting and exotic. But now all I want is for some peace and quiet. I want Luc to be able to take a nap without being woken up by a rusted out exhaust or ghetto rap being played by some kid named Colt who only graduated high school because his dad said he had to if he ever wanted to drive the tractor again after his 3rd DUI. I guess turning 32 has changed me.
P.S. Sorry I'm late yet again. Theo's got a stomach bug. You don't want to know...
3 comments:
Give me a set of those rd. spikes and taser, too. I think some folks in our neighborhood could use a surprise. The other night our neighbor had 7-8 police cars surrounding their house.
Matt and I have started to keep track of 1. the times we call the police on our neighbors and 2. the number of police/ambulances that show up to each incident.
Aren't you glad that you moved to such an interesting place? Ayer isn't half as cool as what you have described....although the road spikes could have come in handy at that crazy (non) stop sign at the top of the hill...
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